What is life like without a mom..

I'm not here to write anything inspiring or to write about how good or bad my day was. I am here to tell you exactly what life is like without having your mom around to raise you and be there for you.

My mother was not around to...

see me get my drivers license
see me graduate
see me get married
see her first grandchild

She hasn't be there to...

give me advice
help me through mother/daughter issues
dress me on my wedding day
call during pregnancy or any hard time for anything


I am angry. I am angry that she is not here. I am hurt that I have been left alone to deal with all of these things. I know what hurt and sadness feels like. I am now a much stronger woman, than many that I know, but I can't help but still be weak.

Sometimes you wonder how things in life got to where they are. You sit and think about the things that are, or the things that could have been. My brother and I hated each other when we were growing up, but now we are the best of friends. We hardly ever argue, and we can talk about anything with each other. Literally anything and that is what I love. I am so happy that we have the relationship that we do, because in hard times there is someone there who has always been there. When I feel like life is too much to handle my brother is there to talk to, take my baby and play with him, or just tell me to suck it up (in his loving way) and move on.

We have had our times where we really have wanted to strangle one another, but the truth is without each other we'd probably be lost. We developed this relationship after my mom passed away and unfortunately it took that horrible incident to make us realize what we had. Our open and honest relationship has made for a great friendship, one that we will cherish for the rest of our lives. I think everyone deserves a great relationship with every member of their family, because after all you do have the same blood!

So, thank you to my amazing brother. Thank you for always having my back and helping me in times of need. You are an amazing person and just know that I am here for you any time you need me as well. Thank you for talking with me about my feelings and allowing me to come to you when ever I need to release them. I am thankful for this, and thankful for you. <3