I have come to find that in life it's hard to have expectations of any kind and really kind of unfair to those around you. How can you have such high expectations of someone when all the expectations that they have of you aren't being met? I say this because I am a person who wants to love and be loved, but that "being loved" part comes with showing those around me undying devotion. Change is being made in the world around me, and it is time to make that change in my world as well. Our life is so short, and to give up and throw the blame on someone else is just a way of masking our own guilt.
I have found a way to make incredible changes in my life, changes that will be seen and felt with time. Concetrating on myself for once has really made such an oustanding difference in my life. Viewing the world in a light in which I don't scowl at is really pretty facinating. Loving myself is the first step to loving this world, and I am definitely on that road. I will not give up to see the world I know and love crumble around me, I will crumble first.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
What every woman wants....right?
A loving marriage, family, and security.
What defines all of those things to you?
What defines all of those things to you?
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Thanks to my wonderful sister-in-law I now have a cute blog :). It takes awhile to get used to a new site, but I have a feeling blogging is going to be my new escape from reality!
I switched Trenton over to formula almost a week ago and the difference is amazing. He not only naps better but seems to sleep better as well. It was a difficult choice for me to make, because nursing was so important to me. Making the right decision for him was critical and I was worried that formula was anything but that. I couldn't have been more wrong, and I am now happy with the choice I have made. It seems he is more satisfied, but I am still a little heart-broken that I couldn't be enough for him. At least we got those first 3 months of bonding, 3 months that I am very thankful to have had. Even pumping couldn't help my supply, turning it up on a really high setting would only hurt me and still only pump out maybe 2 ounces in 20-30 minutes. How can I feed my son the 4-6 ounces he needs when I can't even pump out a measly 2. Some part of me feels like a failed him, but I know that I did my best and tried hard for those first few months. He is a strong and very healthy 3 month old so that's all that should matter!
Trevor will be coming home in about a week and I couldn't be more thrilled for this reunion. We haven't seen him since Trenton was a month old! Losing a parent at a young age makes knowing what you want out of life a whole lot easier! Our family is my life, and I love that!
I switched Trenton over to formula almost a week ago and the difference is amazing. He not only naps better but seems to sleep better as well. It was a difficult choice for me to make, because nursing was so important to me. Making the right decision for him was critical and I was worried that formula was anything but that. I couldn't have been more wrong, and I am now happy with the choice I have made. It seems he is more satisfied, but I am still a little heart-broken that I couldn't be enough for him. At least we got those first 3 months of bonding, 3 months that I am very thankful to have had. Even pumping couldn't help my supply, turning it up on a really high setting would only hurt me and still only pump out maybe 2 ounces in 20-30 minutes. How can I feed my son the 4-6 ounces he needs when I can't even pump out a measly 2. Some part of me feels like a failed him, but I know that I did my best and tried hard for those first few months. He is a strong and very healthy 3 month old so that's all that should matter!
Trevor will be coming home in about a week and I couldn't be more thrilled for this reunion. We haven't seen him since Trenton was a month old! Losing a parent at a young age makes knowing what you want out of life a whole lot easier! Our family is my life, and I love that!
Friday, December 11, 2009
I'm giving it a shot!
I don't know how good at this I will be or if I will even be able to keep up with it, but hey all my sisters did it so now I feel likes it's an obligation ;).
At this point in time it's almost Christmas and I am away from my husband, it's hard but I thank my lucky stars every day it's not a deployment. Our son is growing every day and his father isn't here to see, when he smiles at me I wish I were his father. Oh how I wish Trevor could be here to see that gummy smile every day and be able to enjoy the small achievments like Trenton grasping a toy for the first time. I suppose 2 more weeks won't hurt us, but it still feels like forever. Being a Navy wife is a very tough job, I honestly don't think people give the spouses of service men and women enough credit! When our spouses enlist so do we, when they deploy so do we! It is a hard life and I wouldn't lie about that one bit, but it's a life I love, and a life I wouldn't change!
One thing I don't say enough to my family is how greatful I am to all of you! On my side of the family I only have my father and brother and Trevors side, well I have a whole other country ;). It's wonderful and everything I have ever wanted in a family. I love having 3 sisters that I can hang out with and talk girl talk. It's nice to know I have female influences in my life, because not having my mother around for the last 6 years has taken a lot away from my life, a lot that can never be replaced. That is why I am so thankful to you ladies. You have no idea what your love and support means to me, but that is ok, because I do and it's enough to make not having my mother around feel...ok. :). I love you guys!
At this point in time it's almost Christmas and I am away from my husband, it's hard but I thank my lucky stars every day it's not a deployment. Our son is growing every day and his father isn't here to see, when he smiles at me I wish I were his father. Oh how I wish Trevor could be here to see that gummy smile every day and be able to enjoy the small achievments like Trenton grasping a toy for the first time. I suppose 2 more weeks won't hurt us, but it still feels like forever. Being a Navy wife is a very tough job, I honestly don't think people give the spouses of service men and women enough credit! When our spouses enlist so do we, when they deploy so do we! It is a hard life and I wouldn't lie about that one bit, but it's a life I love, and a life I wouldn't change!
One thing I don't say enough to my family is how greatful I am to all of you! On my side of the family I only have my father and brother and Trevors side, well I have a whole other country ;). It's wonderful and everything I have ever wanted in a family. I love having 3 sisters that I can hang out with and talk girl talk. It's nice to know I have female influences in my life, because not having my mother around for the last 6 years has taken a lot away from my life, a lot that can never be replaced. That is why I am so thankful to you ladies. You have no idea what your love and support means to me, but that is ok, because I do and it's enough to make not having my mother around feel...ok. :). I love you guys!
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